Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Vacation is for the Birds!

A tropical paradise!

Just a quick post from Santa Monica CA. I've been spending some time reading second rate paper back novels by the pool. This morning I decided to go have a nice breakfast at one of the cafes at my hotel - the Fairmont Santa Monica. Its a lovely hotel, a bit past its prime but still getting a solid **** 1/2 stars for it's efforts. The outdoor cafe is a beautiful setting complete with waterfalls, koi pond with turtles, and a certain European sensibility that appeals to my snooty, semi-world traveler persona.

The view from my breakfast table above was lovely and the sounds of the trickling waterfall drowned out the traffic noise and children screaming in the pool. All was right with the world. As I sat and soaked up this lovely scene, drinking my English Breakfast tea with a splash of milk, I pondered the thought of how fortunate I was to be able to enjoy such a splendid morning as this.

Just as these warm and fuzzy thoughts were soothing my over-worked brain I was brought back to the harsh reality of my life.

A large bird had just shit on my shoulder.

Yes I said shit as that is the only word to describe the goopy green turd that destroyed my peaceful morning. Now I am sure there are many different ways to react when a bird drops a giant load on you in public. My response was first one of disgust. Secondly, I became aware that my flailing of the arms and hands might alert my other diners to my predicament so I tried to wipe off the offending poo with as much decorum as possible. I waved for my check and proceeded to pretend that nothing had happened all the while dying to get back to room and rip off the poop stained shirt I was wearing.

I managed to wipe off most of the offense and I thought I had done a pretty good job of disguising my ordeal and I was sitting quietly waiting for my check. Suddenly, Rico Suave Italian dude tapped me on my shoulder. "Yes", I said demurely, pleasantly surprised by Rico's smarmy good looks! He leaned down to whisper something to me. What could it be, I wondered?........ "You missed some", was his remark as he pointed to my back. Yes, there was still a long green trail of bird crap all the way down the back of my shirt.

Nothing will bring you down off your lofty perch as fast as a bird dropping it's goods on you in public. And that, my friends, is my thought for the day.


Helen said...

You made my day...That happened to me at Cannon Beach, kids have never forgotten it either. Have a wonderful day, and by the way your new hairstyle looks chic!

Helen said...

You made my day...That happened to me at Cannon Beach, kids have never forgotten it either. Have a wonderful day, and by the way your new hairstyle looks chic!

Barbara Jacksier said...

I empathize. A flock of goldfinch recently ruined my tea party!

Barbara Jacksier said...

Have you been to Venice yet? There's a great shop called Vintage Weave Interiors that I'm dying to see.

Vintageweave Interiors
169 S. Fairfax Ave.,
Los Angeles, CA 90036

ShabbyInTheCity said...

OH boy that caught me off guard LOL! This happened to me at a professional baseball game years ago...thousands of towels were passed down from the lofty seats above...everyone had witnessed my shame :)

annechovie said...

Jackie, I feel for you! But at least you made a funny story out of it - you had me laughing. We were having a perfect meal by the pool recently when a bird with digestive upset decided to fly over and drop a load on my sister's boyfriend and the entire dish of prized ceviche on the table

Unknown said...

I'm glad - or maybe not so glad - that I am not alone in my bird related experience. I didn't realize , having lived in the desert my entire life, that this was such a common occurance. My husband tells me that in some cultures it is considered a sign of good luck to be chosen by a bird to receive such a blessing. Let's hope so, for all our sakes!

Anonymous said...

Jackie you are not alone! It just happened to me last week week on the first day of our beach vacation! A seagull felt the need to leave a present on my leg!

Unknown said...

This is a very auspicous sign. Did you ever see the movie Under the Tuscan Sun. A bird dropped doo doo on Diane Lane and she got the house of her dreams. Let us know when you receive the gift of this. Happy Holiday and the second rate paper back novels sound divine. I hope they are trasy ones!

cotedetexas said...

ok, I have one more. I have the most frizzy, curly, ugly hair in the world and especially when I'm at the beach. To make it look decent, I can spend 45 minutes blow drying it. A few years ago my whole family was going nuts as they waited for me to finish my hair so we could go out to eat. Viola! Yes, it happened RIGHT in my hair!!! at the entrance to the restaurant. I was so mad because I had just wasted all that time with the damn hair! And it smelled all night. Had to rewash as soon as dinner was over. My family was hysterical laughing and still talk about it today, the look on my face. Oy! The hotel looks gorgeous!


Unknown said...

I hope Patricia is right and this is a good omen. I could use all the help I can get with my book release!