Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Anonymous ~ Why I LOVE Blogging!

"Dear Anonymous,

You left me the following kind message today and it was so touching that I thought I would share it with all three of my loyal readers:


"Comment"

"You are at best a skinking f****ing cow. You've published a book on window treatments? Wow, what's next a book on faux (f**k) finishes.

Lard Ass.

Professionals don't comment on others work. Get it - pro. You pro-found hog."


"Anonymous"

(quote edited with * to protect the unprofessional)



Let us digest this deep and meaningful comment, shall we?

First: I believe you meant stinking with a T not "skinking" with a K unless "skinking" is some new form of insult that I am not aware of ~ very possible. However, I am glad to report that I do bathe daily and apply deodorant liberally so if you did mean stinking I may have to disagree.

Second: I was a bit of a cow the last few years ( Wow, do you actually know me?) But I am happy to say that I have lost 40 pounds since last October and am actually probably well out of the cow category at present. Thanks for your genuine concern about my health.

Third: I have actually published three books not one:

The first on window treatments ( it's only 585 pages and filled with 3000 original designs and illustrations done by myself so I can see how it is easily dismissed).

The Second on Bedding ( again only 580 pages and thousands of original designs and illustrations).

The third is a professional marketing manual and software system for the interior design trade. A mere 350 pages ( so embarrassing!)

I am currently writing two more, haven't decided on the finished length yet. I'll be sure to let you know.

Fourth: I do not presently plan on writing a book on faux, or as you so eloquently put it, "f**k" finishes but never say never. I did however spend many years doing decorative painting, murals and faux finishes for my clients during my scant twenty years as an interior designer.

Fifth: I believe the "Lard Ass" comment was referring to my "cow" like appearance to which I will again refer to my recent weight loss. I will admit to still having some excess lard on my ass but a bony ass is just unsightly, not to mention uncomfortable.

Sixth: Since you claim that "professionals do not comment" on the work of other "pros" I will have to defer to you because you are obviously hands down far more professional than I will ever be. You'd better alert all the other designers, writers, and publishers in the world though, I don't think they are aware of this highly professional rule.

Seven: In answer to your question "Get it pro?" I must say, Oh yes, I get it alright. It's crystal clear my friend, no need to remind again. You are the professional and I am a sad and underachieving amateur. After all anyone famous enough and as accomplished as yourself that they don't even have to identify themselves and can go by the name anonymous has to have a formidable resume of achievements.

Eight: As to your sweet parting words " You Pro-found hog" I must say that I am duly impressed with your use of the English language. Your verbiage is so very descriptive and visual. However, I must again refer you to my recent weight loss as I do not believe that I fit into the hog catagory either. I am well within my thin range. Not to say that I might not become a fat ass again at some point in my life. One never knows - does one?

I must tell you my dear "Anonymous" that you are the very reason that I love blogging. You just never know what you are going to find when you open up that comments page. Thankfully there are people like yourself who make the great personal sacrifice to police the internet in order to protect the "professional" out there from wanna be's like myself. I applaud your good work and please don't hesitate to come back over and over so you can keep me in line.

After all, without readers like you what would be the point of sharing a careers worth of hard earned knowledge and expertise with interested readers?

I don't want to keep you from your important work but I would like to leave you with one parting comment?

****** *** ******* ***** ****** *** ** ********** !

Till next time, XOXOXO


55 comments:

This Photographer's Life said...

THIS IS THE BEST TURN AROUND I HAVE EVER SEEN. I love it!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!! If I had gotten this I would have deleted it immediately and pretended it never happened! Again, major props!

katiedid said...

Hahahaha!!!! Still laughing. I had a wonderful anon comment myself today.Perhaps our little police officer is making the rounds. I was lucky though....it wasn't anything quite like this. You are priceless with the comeback!!! Bravo.

tartanscot said...

*standing ovation*

nicely said.

nicely done.

Tammy@InStitches said...

Oh My ! I just don't get the nerve of some people. You handled that beautifully. Congrats on your weight loss ! :)

Nouveau Stitch said...

Whoa. Remind me to call you the next time I have an issue with the bank!

Do you think Anonymous was deprived of draperies as a child?

Ellen

Victoria M said...

You are the most amazing and well grounded person I know. I applaud you and your well versed response to such a sad and sorry person.

You are my hero!

Norbridge Antiques said...

Your talents as a stellar interior designer and writer are not your only talents. Your sense of humour in turning a vile personal insult into something so funny is to be commended. Congratulations, I am still laughing!

Linda Merrill said...

Brava dear Jackie Blue bra-to the f'ing-va!!!

Maybe we should all hang up our shingles with such a person as your commenter out in the world making us all look so bad.

Jenny C. said...

I laughed so hard! This was a beautiful response to a rude and ridiculous comment. Loved it!

Tamara Matthews-Stephenson said...

Omgoodness....are those actual blog comments? I thought maybe you just were being funny, but if they are real that is crazy. i love your blog and I'll be back. Stop over to my blog (hate the word blog by the way, how about journal...) Nest by Tamara at http://nestnestnest.blogspot.com

Lisa said...

Jackie...your eloquent, last line in your response was the best!! I truly hope you were able to disregard this mean person's response...she/he made herself/himself look bad...You have class and talent!!

Christine Shepard said...

Ooohhh, Jackie....WELL DONE! I can't stop laughing!!! You got 'em, girl!

Jennifer M said...

I never post comments & I don't blog, I simply love indulging in the work and talents of others. That being said, I am a professional career woman and applaud your frank, honest and witty response to such stupidity and nastiness. As women, we should uphold one another and support the efforts of those succeeding in fulfilling their dream -- not was time and energy tearing someone apart. Keep it up... you've paid your dues and have the backbone to prove it!

Pigtown-Design said...

Go, Girl!!!! You rock.

(from an non-pro!)

xoxo

Tracy @ ComfortandLuxury said...

Awesome, Jackie. Best response to unnecessary meanness ever.
So sorry you didn't know that you have me as a regular reader. So that's what? Four? Hooray! I'll be sure to show up here more often. Perhaps it will lend some credibility to your sad little non-professional blog. I'll do what I can. ;)

michelle said...

Unbelievable-- she really needs to check herself in or maybe she needs an intervention. WOW-- I was like" let me see what beautiful things Jackie is doing" and I see this HOG WASH. Even funnier when I first saw your Window Treatments book I was shocked when I actually saw you because you were so young and I thought the book must be someones entire LIFE"S WORK because it was so BIG AND THERE WERE SOOO MANY PAGES. LOL HEY PEOPLE MAKE MILLIONS GAINING AND LOOSING WEIGHT SO WHATEVER TO THAT "TOTALLY OFF' NUT
JOB" YOUR TALENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR SIZE!!!!!!

Lisa said...

I admire your class & sense of humor Jackie. Well done!
xo Lisa

Michele Sá Carvalho said...

You Are The BEST!!
BRAVO!!

Karena said...

So proud of you Jackie, you are truly a class act!

What an f......g sorry excuse of a person to treat anyone like this. How in the world does this person treat their spouse or children, hopefully does not have any!

Karena
Art by Karena

Kate Coveny Hood said...

You know - I've seen plenty of bizarre "troll" comments like that one on personal blogs. But on a design blog? Seriously? I'm mystified...

Dumbwit Tellher said...

For annon.'s despicable comment I will never understand. People such as that voice their (obnoxious)strong opinions but hide behind the anonymous name. If they are so proud of their accomplishments and their values, why not use their real name. Just don't get it. Sorry you had to take your valuable time to respond to such vile behavior. Great job!

vicki archer said...

Brilliant Jackie....I can't wait for their response...I guess we might be waiting for some time before that 'anonymous' shows up again. xv

Kimberley said...

Bravo Jackie, You handled this not so nice person with grace! I was always taught that if you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all. I guess this person was not taught manners! You had me in stitches reading this, no pun intended!

I too am a reader in silence.

Kim Chagnon
www.kimsupholstery.com

Devoted Fan said...

HOLY COW (no pun intended)! That creeper obviously snapped somewhere along the line. You handled them with grace and perfection. Congrats!

Rebecca Deming Rumpf said...

Professional writers absolutely comment and critique the work of others -- that's their job. Duh! What's unprofessional is to launch an anonymous personal attack against someone you don't even know out of jealousy and spite. Jackie is beautiful and sweet and the "cow" comments don't even make sense. I think Anonymous is a misogynistic, nasty man whose nastiness has been revisited upon himself a thousandfold (as is his just dessert) and instead of owning up to the fact that he's reaping what he sows, he blames and attacks beautiful, successful women like Jackie instead. Jackie could be 95 pounds soaking wet, and he still would have called her the same nasty woman-hating names.

Donna, The Decorated House said...

Good Morning Dear Jackie~

Today seems like a good day to say thanks for your lovely blog which so many enjoy very much.

I hope today is a really great day for you! Donna

Mélanie said...

Joni, I love your answers and your sense of humor...I was suprised by this comment but I guess you are right that is why we like blogging...

kay ellen said...

Oh Jackie what a great way to turn that nasty comment around~~

I love it!!!

You are so whitty and a fabulous person and designer:)

xo
Kay Ellen

Vickie H. said...

Mental illness is spread far and wide. This person is wildly jealous of you and your accomplishments. Your response was priceless! So proud of you. I am also a regular reader of your blog and LOVE it!

b freed said...

I needed a good laugh. Now you can add eloquence-with-a-touch-of-smarmy to your attributes. Thanks for sharing.

Karen said...

Ha! Who knew a book about window treatments could cause such a stir? I am wondering if from now on when I am in a social situation if I should avoid the subjects of politics, religion, and window treatments?!

I loved your response!

Margie Nance said...

I am rolling with laughter here. Jackie that was the best ever!

tammipa said...

Hello my dear Jackie!

You rise above it all and do it so well! What a lesson learned to truly make lemonade when someone throws out their sour lemons!

Keep doing what you do, add me to your list of faithful readers.
xoxo Tammi

jay said...

What a flaming coward. I picture an unwashed geek living in moms' basement with greasy hair, a sparsely whiskered chin, and several computer monitors. But he is probably a real pro at it.

BJ Lantz said...

No doubt Anonymous is just "skinking" jealous...

Sue said...

PRICELESS.....From someone who recently also got an anonymous comment from a concerned reader that I was corrupting my daughter because I took a picture inside a NYC theater then ran...You addressed the "Blog Police" fabulously....Bravo and I too will give you a standing O..........
Sue at Rue-Mouffetard.
Oh and congrats on the weight loss....Nobody wants to be called a lard ass!

Anonymous said...

Jackie, I'm still laughing! Thank you so much. What a hoot! But I suspect not for you, and I regret that. Love sarcasm when used brilliantly. You win, hands down. --david

elements of design said...

hopefully, through the wonders of technology, that anonymous Ass (of Any size), will be reported, revealed and sanctioned, in spite of hiding behind the name ANON (and they certainly are A NON compus mentus). you were smart to take the time and energy to respond to that maniac and put them in their place, although i doubt they are smart enough to GET IT:{
Glad to see you were able to take the high road, yet get the job done!

Julia @ Hooked on Houses said...

Oh, my. That's hilarious. There's something about the Internet that really brings out the crazies, as I am learning as my own blog grows. (I figure that's what the "delete" button was created for.) Loved your response to this anon!

Lauren said...

what a ridiculous anon!!!

Beautiful job disposing of her.


ps- I'm LOVING your bedding book and am using one of your designs for a client and know I'll use it for many more. You're AMAZING and I can't wait to get my hands on the others!!
xoxo

Glinda said...

Well, I for one have to thank Anon commenter for this wonderful opportunity as I would have never known about your books had I not been so entranced by this erudite rundown of your accomplishments. I am off to search Amazon for for your books now.

Bravo, well done.

Renae said...

Well done Jackie! You are THE clever one to take something sour and put some humor into it.
That poor soul is a miserable one indeed!
Blessings...
xx

Renae said...

Well done Miss Jackie...you certainly took sour grapes and made something positive of it. So sad that annon is such a miserable soul.
Blessings...
xx

Beadboard UpCountry said...

Jackie, I had a lousy week, and after reading this it started off the weekend with a big smile. You handled this with class, and grace and considerable wit. You go girl!!!!!We am proud of your accomplishments and to have met you! Maryane and Peter XO

The Muddy Dog said...

Jackie, I am crying with laughter - what a great response, well done!!!!
Susan

sinnlighet said...

Yes yes yes, your blog ..... it's amazing and soooo inspiring.

Nice to find you!

A small footprint from Agneta & Sweden

Southern Chateau said...

Jackie, I would not have been able to conduct my rebuttal with that much restraint. Kudos. What an absolute loser.

Anonymous said...

Miss J - add me to the list of your readers, too!
I also think ANON is a man - and, you didn't even comment on his inability to properly use apostrophes! I'm not sure that his comments about cattle, pork, and anatomy had anything to do with your personal appearance at all, but are, rather, his normal speech patterns when faced with brilliance and competency from the female gender in general. Your response is impossible for him to rebut! I am so proud!
Zanne

Visual Vamp said...

You made my day!
And I am going to forward all my Anon comments to you to answer!
xo xo

La Petite Gallery said...

Applause to you Jackie, What
a low life to leave such a nasty comment. Probably the clinic let it out to soon with no meds..
You should get an Oscar for that reply.


yvonne

Jennifer said...

I adore you that's for sure!!

Karen Davis said...

Love your comeback and your designs! The world is full of crazy people...

Michelle said...

How appropriate, since I have been blogging for over 2 years now, and had my first nasty comments only a couple of weeks ago. Love the way you responded to this one :)

Did you read Steven Duckers comments in this month's HB? He talks about the nastiness in the design/blog world. Being as successfull as you are, you are bound to get a comment or two from someone gorging on potato chips on the couch, watching TV all day, with no life, trying to put others down to pump themselves up...jealousy is a green eyed monster all right.

Saw both of your books at the AD show in NYC this week...they were at the Potter's booth! I had a moment of...hey it's Jackie...congrats!

Best,
Michelle

Greet said...

You handled this as a real professional Jackie! Well done!
xx
Greet

Cote de Texas said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
heheheh. this one takes the cake!
omg - this is horrible. good thing we have a sense of humor. wow.

to anon: I think Jackie is fabulous!!! You stink you stupid anon.